It's been weird lately. I haven't done much on the painting side but have done a small amount of fabric work. I have lots of ideas but just haven't had the quietude to actually sit and do them. When I do have the quiet time, I'm so tired I can't work. So I sit in my studio and stare at all my art supplies when I get a few moments. They are calling to me to dive in. It's sad that I don't have the energy to do it.
I did set up a paint-day with a friend of mine for next week. I thought that if I had to get out of my environment to get jump-started then so be it. I'm actually looking forward to it. I hope that I actually get to go. Lately life just seems to get in the way.
I was able to go to a day of mindfulness last Saturday. It was a nice recharge. Great people and sharing of stories and what meditation means to them and how it affects their lives. I know that when I meditate images of what to draw or paint run through my head. How to convey emotions into movement and line and color. Would someone feel what I felt when I painted it? Would they know what I'm trying to convey? Would it even matter? I should paint for me and not for others. It's that people-pleasing aspect of my personality that makes that difficult at times. At other times I don't feel entitled to paint because of my family needs and obligations. Being a mother is hard work. Harder than it looks.
Speaking of being a mother. I've had pause to think about my role in this world lately. I feel the weight of it and realize just how much my actions and thoughts and words affect my children. I want them to have happy memories of me. I want them to be well-adjusted, considerate men when they grow up. There are so many little moments that define our days. So many little tasks that you may or may not plan for that consume so much time. Before you know it, your day is drawing to a close and there is so much more that still needs to be done. Much of it is the lot of the stay at home mom. What a complicated role that is, with complicated emotions surrounding it. Ah, but that is a conversation for another time.
Back to creating. We're going to have our annual Halloween party next week. We've yet to get started on the decorating but it is such a creative event. We're going to carve our pumpkins and get the house ready (aka spooky). It's my favorite holiday of the year. Wish it lasted longer. It feels like the true start of Fall to me.
The leaves are turning beautiful shades of yellow, gold and red. I especially love the red leaves on the Maple trees. When the sunlight hits them, they burn with life. It's truly beautiful. It almost brings tears to my eyes. Fall is when Mother Nature pulls out all the stops before she sheds her rich mantel for Winter.
Anyway...
Hope you stop and admire the leaves and see their beauty and know that you are beautiful too.
~Peace
Michelle
Note: Won't have a computer for a while so you'll be stuck with the same painting in the meantime.
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