Ah, the mad, insane Christmas dash to please everyone and live up to a perceived holiday standard is done. That said, I'm really not anti-Christmas or anything. I am just a realist and think that the whole Christmas madness has gotten completely out of hand.
I am guilty of it. I admit. Spending more than I say I will on gifts. There are the ones you know you'll get but invariably see some other really cool thing you would like to get that person OR the ever predictable 'surprise' gift from someone you totally did not expect to hear from much less get a gift from - thus causing the obligatory purchase of the gift for the surprise gift-giver. Not that I'm unappreciative but it does make it hard to plan how much you're spending.
I am one of those folks who likes to give gifts to others that mean something - to watch their faces light up is worth it all. The older I get the less I really need - some things that I want but really, is there anything I REALLY TRULY need that I don't have? Well, maybe having my debt erased, but that is another story.
So the chaos has died down. Family has left and the wake of wrapping paper, extra boxes, leftovers for a football team and cleaning of bathrooms and linens that I have to look forward to is staring me in the face. It was great to see folks but there is always more work to do later.
But wait, here comes New Years Eve!
Unfortunately I have never been a huge fan of New Years Eve. I've never been able to go to a true adult only, out somewhere really nice (aka where I'm not cooking or bringing a covered dish) and dressed up in something fancy kind of party. Those are things that other people do. Who REALLY does that? I like just hanging with friends and laying low. Kids playing and lots of snackage. Still, I find it depressing. The getting together part is great. The cliff-like ending to the holidays is like winning a prize and then having it yanked from you.
All the hype and build up is really kind of Manic/Depressive if you think about it. We have a real high and then a drop and then another real high and then another drop. Add in the mix any personal difficulties at this time of year and BANG!, instant depression!
I think I come across as cynical about the holidays. Perhaps I am. I just wish that we could lessen the amount of 'stuff' and focus more on the time together - more of a twelve days of Christmas kind of thing. Or maybe we could make December - Compassion and Togetherness month. Where we have gatherings to share our bounty. Where we share with those in need or do something for perfect strangers. Perhaps this would become SO wildly popular it would spill over to more months and before we knew it, it would be a year round thing. (okay, in my fantasy world it could happen - just let me dream here, okay?)
Oddly enough, I still grudgingly love Christmas even though it depresses me. I love the way my children's eyes light up. The way the cookies burn when you're busy with other things and the tree gets demolished by the cats. The crazy gifts some relative gives you and the mess after all of it is said and done. I guess I'm just railing at the thought of the end of the madness. Perhaps I really do love it after all. I still think we could improve things greatly with my brilliant ideas (yes, Pinky, we WILL take over the world - you 'Pinky and the Brain' fans will understand).
Ultimately my fervent wish is for all to know peace in their life. To know the love of someone dear. To hold the hand of a child and see their joy. To ride a bike and feel the wind in your hair. To have a warm, safe place to live. To know some measure of safety and trust. To have plenty to eat and not to worry about medical care when needed. To smile over a daisy in the sunshine. These and other things I wish for everyone, everywhere all over the world. Imagine.
Ignore my grumblings and know that I too love the madness in some way. It's life isn't it? All messy and full of massive ups and downs just on a more accelerated timeline. I guess I'd rather have the messy life than no messy life at all.
Peace~
Michelle
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