The Zen of Clutter

It's true...I'm a bit of a pack rat.

I'm not as bad as I used to be by any means. I'm in the pairing down mode - continuously.

I often wonder why I can't just get rid of it all and go from there, but it's like peeling away layers of an onion. It brings all kinds of things up and sometimes a tear to your eye. But why do the things we own hold so much sway with us? I'm quickly realizing as I'm getting a tad older that as we progress through life what we own means different things to us. When I was younger having the right furniture, house, car, clothes was immensely important - so I was a good little consumer and bought all those things. I was very surprised to find that it didn't make me happy. Perhaps (I say to myself) that I didn't buy enough. That still did not make me happy. Hmmm....my quandry continued. Then life happens and I have to stop my cycle for a while. Then when I look a back at what I have I wonder why I bought it in the first place. Do I use it, if not why? Perhaps, just maybe, what I have done says something about me, inside.

This goes on for years until after meeting my second husband. WOW, I was happy. I mean REALLY happy. I look around at all this 'stuff' and wonder why I'm keeping it. It was then that I ever so slowly began my pairing down. It's been many years now and I'm still learning to pair down even more. I'm almost to the point that I want to be. The biggest clutter problem I struggle with now is paper and laundry (which I swear multiplies when you're not looking). It's also hard to keep a handle on it with a house full of boys. I think we find a workable level now.

So what does all this have to do with Zen? I've been participating with a Zen mediation group for almost a year now. I've realized how my possessions owned me for years and years and how I tried to find myself in 'things'. The true Zen part of it all is the removing of the clutter. That release, the impermanence of it all. The transient nature of our lives. The simple act of cleaning it all and removing it or taking it to Goodwill releases energy. Frees up my mind and the energy in our home. I like the clean simplicity of it all.

It's ironic that as a young teenager I wanted my home clean, sleek, modern with Nordic furniture. Then my mother influenced my life heavily and I changed my likes to hers and picked up her shopping habit. I did not realize how I let others set the tone of my life. Taking ownership of my life again was very liberating and very vexing to some close to me. That literal clean sweep of my life was also a very Zen experience.

Like I said, my life has been like peeling and onion - layer by layer. Sometimes with great pain and tears. Whether it be the papers stacking up screaming for attention, or the clothes that I realize I never really needed or the relationships that I realized were really very toxic - the clearing out of these things has made more space within me. I now have the space to give more and receive more, create more, love more, laugh more and dream more. I still have a way to go before I reach where I'd like to be clutter-wise but that is just another layer to peel away.

I recently cleared the clutter in my studio. I feel the expansion of energy there. The whisper of greater potential now that there is that openness and freedom. I'm very excited about painting in there now, more than before.

All in all, I think a little clutter helps keep us on our toes. We're more mindful of what is around us so we pay attention more, we show up. Just as with any kind of love whether it be for art or work or travel or people...it's the showing up part that matters most.

So where do I wrap this up? I'm going to go and clear some clutter now. I've inspired myself to move my butt and get more done. I'm also going to go create some now that the energy within the studio and within me has been freed up.

Go contemplate the 'clutter' in your life - in whatever form it takes. Free some space so that you too can make room for something wonderful and new.

~Peace
Michelle