Expectations

Greetings Everyone!


Hope everyone had a great Monday even with the massively over-hyped Valentines pressure. :) I say that because there is always this secret expectation that Valentines Day will somehow drop some romance into your lap or the person that is nearest and dearest to you will become this Casanova/Casanovette and shower you with adoration. I think we know how this one goes - Oh Crap! It's Valentines Day...quick, run to the grocery store and buy some cards. (at least for many folks that I know)LOL...


I'm not really jaded, I just think its funny how much pressure a day can create for people. My Valentines Day was quiet.  I worked in my yard, weeding, mulching, fertilizing, planting, seeding...etc...My husband and sons and I went to dinner at a local mexican restaurant, nothing fancy. I wouldn't have minded some Valentines pampering but spending time with my guys was good.


Anyway...enough about commercial holidays. :)


Expectations - Mine are for me to get my big butt in gear and paint.  I say it time and time again, but I really want to. If you're a parent like me, you know that life gets in the way.  My high schooler has to change schools this Fall so I'm in the midst of a paperwork frenzy to find him a good new school.  My youngest has been give double the workload of homework so I have to step up to that.  I am the insurance filer, etc...so I have to get back up to speed on that, not to mention visitors in and out, kids illnesses, etc...So - my expectations for myself somehow get lost in the mix.  I have every intention and need to paint. Everything is ready but with so much going on in my noggin I just can't walk in there and create. I wish it was something that I could just cut on and off at will so that I could step into the studio for 10 minutes, paint, and then run to my next task/chore/errand but I can't work like that.  I have to warm up and then things start going and of course when I'm in that zone, I lose track of time and before I know it, it is time for bed.  Then I hate to stop but know that I'll pay for it later if I don't.


I have an artist friend in Chicago.  We are members of BlueCanvas.com and keep in touch with one another.  He's a really talented contemporary painter.  He has had SOOOO many shows and exhibitions (okay, I'm a wee jealous).  He gives good advice.  We've talked about this very subject of time and expectations of ourselves.  He's getting sucked into other things as well.  Life for him has become complicated and he finds himself in a dilemma - paint or pay bills.  He's having to step back and look for a 'day' job now to make ends meet.  It's hard when life gets in the way - I know about that all too well.  I just want to experience that shift where my art then becomes more of my daily life and less of a side career.  I look forward to that time.  Alas, I too am thinking more and more that I'll need to get a side job myself but am totally at a loss as to how to do that with my children's schedules.  My expectations of myself now shift. I'm sure you, dear reader, have experienced at least some of this.


It is such a crazy time.  Our world is in such disarray and upheaval.  So much chaos and anger but the promise of a better tomorrow as well.  I'm really hoping that I can begin setting more realistic expectations of myself. I tell my children to follow their bliss, to pursue their dreams so that they can be happy as adults yet I am not practicing what I preach and that upsets me. I want to but somehow my roles as parent and spouse trump my role as myself. Guess it's time for a hard reboot! LOL (yes, in my previous life I was in IT)


Enough of the serious crap! :D


I don't know about where you live but here in NC it is a lovely Pre-Spring day.  It's windy but sunny and cool.  I hope that you can have a day that exceeds your expectations! :D


~Peace
Michelle